Save A Spot For Me
by GorgeousSmile
Summary: Maureen dealing with Collins' death. Oneshot.


Save a Spot for Me

Maureen sat there, staring straight ahead, her focus glued to the wall in front of her, eyes blank and watery, the couch underneath her going unnoticed no feeling anywhere, just nothingness all around her. A fist size hole in her chest, a fist someone had jammed straight through her heart.

And it hurt. It hurt so bad that she wished that fist was real, real enough to make the pain stop.

But it wasn't stopping, if anything it was just getting worse.

She should have been prepared for this. She should have known it was coming sooner rather than later. After all she had been to two other funerals in the past six months. The same disease taking them away as it had taken Collins. First Angel and then Mimi, and only two nights ago Collins.

She didn't think it would happen to her best friend so soon. He was doing so well and now he wasn't doing anything at all.

It's wasn't fair. Nothing was going to be the same anymore.

No more giant grin.

No more bear hugs.

No more causing trouble.

No more anything, because Collins was no more.

Maureen's eyes slammed shut, letting out a slow breath, her stomach queasy. Slowly she stood, pausing a moment as she regained some balance. Moving one step forward and then another she slowly made her way to the bathroom, dragging her hand across the wall as she went. Passing by pictures of the group laughing, the group that was slowly shrinking.

No, the group that had shrunk. It was only a matter of time before Roger went. There would be no group of boho's, there would only be a trio.

Maureen, Joanne and Mark, the only survivors.

Maureen sucked in a sharp breath, slowly sinking to the floor in front of the toilet, her stomach churning. She leaned forward emptying what little she had inside of her.

She wiped her mouth with shaky hands, flushing the toilet not having the energy to get up she leaned against the wall, eyes bloodshot, vision blurry with tears.

She closed her eyes, images of Collins popping into her mind, quickly snapping them back open. She wasn't ready to see him yet, not if she couldn't see him in real life.

"Maureen?" A soft voice came from the doorway.

Maureen blinked looking up, the lawyer standing in her blurry vision.

"Oh, honey." Joanne whispered, quickly walking in kneeling in front of her, wiping the never ending tears from her face. "Come here." She whispered wrapping her arms around Maureen pulling her close.

Maureen broke down again, hiding her face in Joanne's neck. "He's gone, Joanne."

Joanne pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to her temple, "He's in a better place now." She said, pulling back knowing that it wouldn't change how Maureen felt, but she had to say something, "He's with Angel." She softly smiled.

"And Mimi." Maureen said her voice cracking, looking down and then up again, "But I don't care, I want him here with me. I want them all back. I want it to be like old times again."

"I know baby." Joanne softly said, pushing some hair out of Maureen's face.

"But nothing will ever be the same again." Maureen said leaning into Joanne again, sobbing.

Joanne let out a breath, her arms tightening around her, being there for Maureen anyway she could. "Come on sweetie, let's get you to bed."

"No Joanne, I can't sleep." Maureen said shaking her head pulling away. "I...I...I can't."

"Maureen you have to get some sleep." Joanne softly said.

Maureen looked up into Joanne's eyes, "I just can't..." She whispered

Joanne studied her, the usual sparkle in the diva's eyes completely gone, and her face full of grief. Joanne sucked in a breath not used to seeing her lover like this. She finally nodded, "Okay." She said nodding again, "Okay, but let's get you up huh? Change into something more comfortable."

Maureen let out a breath looking to the ground, but she nodded.

"Okay." Joanne softly said reaching out and helping her up walking with her to the bedroom to help her change.

They then crawled into bed Maureen shifting into Joanne, laying in silence. Joanne not saying anything, but that was what Maureen needed right now, silent comfort.

They laid in bed all night both of them fallen into a light sleep, but every time Maureen was about to fall deeper she would shake herself awake, causing Joanne to wake as well. Joanne would just pull her close again and the two would lay there.

This was pretty much their routine for the next week. Maureen wouldn't really talk. she'd just walk around not saying much. Mark would come to visit to give her company and by the time Joanne came home from work Maureen would be curled on the couch her eyes glued to the TV, Collins coat draped over her body.

A few weeks later Maureen was starting to sleep, even if it was light it was still something, eventually talking more. And then one night she and Joanne were laying in bed side my side, Joanne's eyes closed, Maureen watching her.

"Joanne?" She whispered.

Joanne slowly opened her eyes. "Mmm?"

"He's in heaven." She stated as if Joanne didn't know, even though Joanne had told her once before, "He's in heaven with Angel and Mimi, drinking or... I bet he's getting high right now."

Joanne wasn't sure if she should laugh or not, so she slightly smirked just letting Maureen talk.

"I hate that's he's not here, but he gets to be with Angel and I know he's waiting for me, but...I get to be here with you right now." She softly said. "It's probably a better life for him up there anyway." She whispered looking into Joanne's chocolate eyes, waiting for a reply.

"He is probably having the time of his life as healthy as he can be, Honeybear." Her voice barely above a whisper.

"No more AZT." Maureen softly said, smirking for the first time in weeks.

Joanne shook her head. "No more AZT."

Maureen let out a slow breath shifting until her head was resting on Joanne's chest, the lawyer's arms circling around her.

"Make sure you save a spot for me, Collins." Maureen whispered her eyes fluttering shut. "And Joanne." She whispered her voice drifting.

Joanne kissed the top of Maureen's head, looking up at the ceiling, smirking "He probably already has several."

Maureen softly smiled lightly nodding, her head all of a sudden shooting up, cranking her head upwards towards the ceiling, "But not for anytime soon!"

Joanne lightly laughed, "I think he knows, Honeybear."

Maureen laid her head back down, nodding. "You're right." She whispered. "He was a brilliant guy." her eyes slowly fell closed again, "Funny guy..."

"Great guy." Joanne nodded.

"Mmhmm." Maureen mumbled finally falling asleep.

Joanne squeezed her closer, her eyes closing as well, the two finally falling into a restful slumber.

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I I I didn't like the ending, but I still hope you enjoyed the oneshot.

Thanks **MovieBuffStarlet **for thehelp


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